Letters that you never meant to send
by AddictedToTheWrittenWord
Summary: This story is based on the prompt Letters from Zutara week 2018: Zuko pens a letter to his Uncle Iroh in which he confesses his true feelings for Katara.


_Dear Uncle,_

 _How are you? How is Ba Sing Se and the Jasmine Dragon? Are you getting to play lots of pai sho? I hope so. I hope that things are going well for you. Things are going well in the Fire Nation. I'm still recovering so that means I'm mostly restricted to the palace grounds, but it's OK Katara has been here everyday to tend to my injury and keep me company. Hopefully you've found someone to keep you company. How are the other members of the White Lotus doing? As soon as I get a free moment I'll have to stop by and see how everyone is getting along. The rest of team avatar is doing OK. They all send you their love. Speaking of love it's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about actually. Maybe we should be having this conversation in person, but it's too hard and too embarrassing, but Uncle I think that I maybe in love, but I don't know if she loves me back. I'm pretty sure you know who I'm talking about. It's the same someone I'm always talking to you about. Katara._

 _It all started back when we got trapped in the crystal catacombs together. What happened between us down there seemed like such a small moment, but for me it was one moment that changed my life forever. The moment Katara offered to heal my scar. The moment she touched my face something between the two of us started to change. I've never told Katara, but I had hope when I got back to Fire Nation and the one thing that gave me that hope was my faith in Katara and my faith in Katara's healing abilities. Katara didn't even heal my scar, but I knew that she could. I knew what a powerful waterbender Katara was. I knew she was powerful enough to bring Aang back from the dead. I even told my father before I left the palace that Aang wasn't dead, even though I had no way of knowing that for sure, but deep down I knew. I knew because it was Katara that had healed Aang, and from the moment she touched my face and offered to heal me I've had an unshakable faith in Katara, but I can't tell her._

 _Before we'd gone off to find the leader of the Southern Raiders we weren't even friends, but when rocks were about to crush Katara I was the one to save her and when I was about to fall to my death Katara was the one to save me. She was the one to reach for me and I reached out for her. So maybe her faith in me is unshakable too? When I told Katara that I knew how and where to find her mother's killer she went along with me without question. We still weren't friends at that point but she still went along with me. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with wanting revenge, but even still she went with me no questions asked. She trusted me even after I betrayed her in the worst way possible. Sometimes I think if she was able to trust me that deeply even when we weren't friends then maybe, just maybe she'll be able to love someone like me, but that's just my dream. In reality it seems too good to be true._

 _I've never told you this before now, but when I needed to work up the nerve to talk to you after betraying you in the crystal catacombs it was Katara who gave me the strength to go in your tent. It was her faith in me that pushed me along. It was the fact that she forgave me that gave me faith that you would forgive me too. My faith in her is why I chose to have her by my side when I went to fight. Then there is of course taking a bolt of lightning for Katara. I wasn't really thinking about her ability to heal me then. To be honest at that moment all I could think is that I'd rather die then live in a world that didn't have Katara in it. So how is it Uncle that I can take a bolt of lightning for Katara but I can't tell her how I really feel about her?_

 _I know you Uncle, and I know you would say that I should tell her how I really feel, but I can't. What if she doesn't feel the same way about me? She might not be my girlfriend now, but at least she's my friend. At least she's in my life. If I told her how I feel and she didn't feel the same way it could ruin what we have. What if she found it too hard to be around me after I confessed my feelings? What would I do if she never wanted to see me again? I couldn't live with that. It be like dying for real this time. Maybe I'll get the courage to tell her one day Uncle, but not today. Beside I'm Fire Lord now, do you really think it be fair to ask her to be Fire Lady one day?_

 _Aah now I'm getting ahead of myself thinking of Katara as the next Fire Lady when she isn't even my lady. How pathetic of me. I'm sorry Uncle for making this letter all about me and my love life (or in this case lack there of) I just needed for someone to know how I really feel, and if I can't tell Katara...I don't know, but I had to tell someone and you're the only other someone I know._

 _Lovingly your nephew, Zuko._

Zuko got up from his desk and went to the rookery and selected a messenger hawk to deliver his letter to his uncle. He debated a second on whether he should send the letter or not and after a few minutes of back and forth arguing in his mind he decided to send the letter. The weight of his feelings sitting on his chest might crush him if he didn't. Katara was stopping by the palace later on in the day and that meant another full day of pretending that he didn't want her as much as he did. A full day of making sure he didn't look in her eyes too long or smile stupidly at everything that she said. A full day of making sure when he touched her it wasn't for too long or too much. Another day of trying to force his heart not to beat twice as fast whenever she said his name. His name coming off her lips was like music to his ears. Every single space that was free in his head was filled with thoughts of Katara. He knew his uncle was right. He should tell her how he felt but every time he tried he lost his courage. Why would someone like her want to be with someone like him? He was lucky that she even forgave him he would not risk fate in thinking that she'd be foolish enough to date him. Not Katara. She could have anyone she wanted so why would she want him?

He sighed. Now he regretted sending that letter to his uncle and wished that he had it back so that he could burn it. What did he think his uncle could do? There was no hope for him. Katara would probably end up with Aang and he would probably end up alone. Being alone was almost preferable than being without Katara. He went back to his room with his heart feeling as twice as heavy as it had a second ago. Why did he torture himself this way? Why did he have to fall in love with the one girl who couldn't love him back? The best and the worst part was that for the next few weeks he had to see her. She was the best healer in the four nations. If only she hadn't of touched his face back in the crystal catacombs. If only she hadn't of opened up her heart to him. If only he hadn't of opened up his heart to her. He usually kept his feeling to himself for a reason. Nothing good ever came of exposing your heart like some love sick fool. Nothing good at all.

It still didn't stop him from wearing his finest outfit and putting on his best smelling cologne for Katara's visit. He put his cologne on the way his uncle had showed him. Behind his ears, the back of his neck, and then two more sprays on either side of his throat. "Cologne is for wearing not bathing." His uncle would always say. It was all a wasted effort he knew, but he still liked looking his best around Katara because she always looked her best around him. Of course Katara could show up in a burlap sack and a tea cozy on her head and Zuko would still think she looked her best.

To distract himself while he waited for Katara to show up he tried playing pai sho but he never had the patience for the game. He tried to play his tsungi horn but the only songs he could think to play were love songs and he was in no mood to hear songs about love when his was unrequited. Finally he gave up and lie on his bed and did the thing that his mind had been wanting him to do for so long now. Think about Katara. He thought about holding her. Kissing her. Telling her that he loved her and hearing her say it back. Spirits he was hopeless. Life did not work out the way it did in all of the plays his mother used to drag him to. Finally after spending several agonizing hours alone Katara showed up. She was still wearing red and Zuko thought that she looked amazing in red. She looked beyond amazing. She looked like a Spirit Goddess. The Spirit Goddess of love and beauty.

"Hi." He said. The stupid grin appeared on his face and wouldn't go away. His heart leapt about in his chest like a rabaroo.

"Hi, how are you feeling?"

"Better now that you're here." Zuko mentally kicked himself. Anytime that she was around his mouth got a mind of it's own.

Katara just smiled and held up a huge basket of goodies for Zuko to see. "One of your staff of thousands saw me headed towards your room so they gave me this. It's a care package from your uncle." She handed him the overstuffed basket so that he could go through it.

"Why don't we take this out to the Royal Gardens and see what's inside, and then we can have a picnic." Zuko didn't give Katara time to say no. He raced back into his room and got a blanket and then started for the gardens and was beyond thrilled when Katara followed by his side. "I thought we could sit by the cherry trees. There in bloom this time of year and they're really something to see. He was going to pull out all of the stops. This was probably as close to a date with Katara as he was ever going to get.

"That sounds wonderful." Katara said. "I've always loved cherry trees."

The stupid grin on Zuko's face got even bigger and his heart beat even faster.

They walked along the cherry trees until Zuko found the biggest fullest tree in the garden and spread the blanket out underneath it. He waited for Katara to sit down before sitting down himself. At once Zuko began to dig through the basket and pull out his favorite comfort foods. Sticky buns, mooncakes, dumplings. There was also plates, cups, and silverware. His uncle had thought of everything.

"Oh, my uncle has something in here for you too." Zuko said and handed Katara a package that had her name attached to it by a little pink ribbon. "It must be a thank you gift for taking care of me." He handed Katara the package, there was something so familiar about the package's wrapping, but he was so distracted by Katara's presence that he didn't notice right away. In fact there were several things he might have noticed earlier that he didn't had he not been distracted by Katara.

Katara however didn't seem so easily distracted. She had unwrapped her package which contained several different teas and had turned the wrapping it came in over and was studying it intently.

Zuko was suddenly hit with a jolt of intense knowing. The synapses in his brain were now firing on all cylinders. The wrapping! It wasn't just any wrapping it was his letter! The one he'd written to his uncle about his feelings for Katara. His uncle, the sneaky old man, had wrapped Katara's tea up in his letter. Now she was reading his letter right in front of him. He sat there watching her read the letter too afraid to move or speak. If he could have moved he would have run. He would have run away and never looked back. How could his uncle do this to him? His heart beat so loudly in his chest he wouldn't have been surprised at all of Katara could have heard it. He had to say something before she did, but nothing came to his mind. His tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth.

"Zuko, you wrote this letter?"

What did he do? Did he admit it? He had to what else was there to do but admit the truth.

"I-I-." The truth was out now so why was it that he still couldn't tell her how he felt about her? Why couldn't he just say it?

"You were never supposed to see that." He said finally and got to his feet quickly. He hung his head in shame in anticipation of Katara's rejection. He was ready to bolt the moment the words I'm sorry Zuko, but I just don't feel the same way about you left Katara's lips.

"Well I'm glad I did."

Zuko's head snapped up so fast it was amazing that it didn't break his neck. "Hun?" That wasn't what she was supposed to say.

"I said I'm glad that I did."

"You are, but why?"

Katara laughed and then closed in the space between them. "Because I feel the same way about you that you feel about me."

Then her lips were on his and she was kissing him. Really kissing him and he was kissing her back. His heart soared. This was real. This wasn't a dream it was really happening. He was kissing Katara and she was kissing him back.

When their kiss broke the two of them sat back down on the blanket and Zuko looked through the basket of goodies again and saw that there were two cups. Two plates and enough silverware for two people. His uncle had set him up. "I can't believe my uncle did this!"

"Well would you have asked me out otherwise?" Katara wanted to know.

"No."

"Then I think you own your uncle a huge thanks. I think we both do."

"I think you're right." Zuko said and then leaned over and kissed Katara again.


End file.
